Butte & Angry Editor honor Salinger

J.D. Salinger just won the most reclusive home on Earth -- a wooden box six feet underground.

Finally getting what he always wanted, Salinger died Thursday morning, a sweet release from the glass prison he created for himself.

Emulating the tone of Holden Caulfield, the main character of Salinger’s famous Catcher in the Rye, students and faculty whined and bitched about the loss like annoying, immature pricks.

“Who’s J.D. Salinger?” said Mike Mango, a senior in culinary arts. “This is way over my head.”

But like the other 99 percent of the United States, Nathan Hawthorne knows Salinger as a staple of high school English, when Hawthorne -- a graduate medical student who by default will share Salinger’s social awkwardness and debilitating lonliness -- was first introduced to the author. “I’m a very bad writer, With a last name,” Hawthorne said.

Travis Bradbury, a sophomore in English, thought Salinger was a whiny ninny-pants in Catcher in the Rye, but appreciated his short stories, mostly because they were short.

Ding dong, the witch is dead.